May 2012
2 posts
Anonymous asked: Your recaps are just the best! Seriously, the best. I sure hope EW assigns you to Smash and Once Upon a Time for season 2. Half the reasons why I watch the shows is so I can read your take.
April 2012
2 posts
March 2012
17 posts
STOP IT. STOP IT, ALL OF YOU. →
…Huck and Tom, a script in which Mark Twain‘s characters Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn are adults in a “re-imagining of the classic duo in the vein of Snow White and the Huntsman,” with “supernatural eleme—
Sorry to cut you off there, but NO NO NO.
Don't be a lawyer
Michael: i just almost drank a cup of pencil shavings
How is there no Hunger Game of Thrones novelty...
Get on it, Internet! I know someone’s squatting on the perfect URL, but that shouldn’t stop you.
Ever wanted to clock Nicholas Sparks in the face? →
Finally, Gilt City is giving us all the chance to personally injure the author of A Walk to Remember—and it’ll cost only $5,000!
Somehow, this ridiculous article about bear... →
Even though it contains immortal gems like this:
While bringing a gun to a bear fight may seem like a solid way to win…
… and this:
“One bear attack can ruin your whole day,” Smith said.
… and this:
“A gun is a tool, but so is your brain,” said John Shivik of the Utah Division of Wildlife Resources.
“The camera does not pan to Terrible Ellis hiding in the piano, or popping up...”
– Are you reading my Smash recaps? Aaaaaare you?
“You won’t see the Once-ler.
Don’t knock at his door.
He stays in...”
– The movie version of The Lorax was really bumming me out, so I went and re-read as much of the actual book as the Amazon Bots would allow. “Miff-muffered moof” can get it.
February 2012
28 posts
That's what fronds are for
Alex just helpfully reminded me of the time I dreamed about Helen Mirren emerging from a spooky swamp, wearing pickles on her fingers.
“I’m going to go read my horoscope book now.”
– My journal from 2002 is mostly boring, but it does contain the occasional gem.
“Amanda seig-whatever is at the restaurant across from us!!”
– My mom, who’s in LA now. She meant Amanda Bynes.
Nick: i’m going to a monster truck show tomorrow me: and you didn’t invite me?! Nick: if you want to come to boston tomorrow by 5, be my guest me: i WILL be your guest that’s awesome though have you been to one before? Nick: yeah, last year monster jam in worcester MA wait, you’re just joking about coming up right? it’s actually too late to get a seat on our...
“I could be a fashion writer. ‘Glamorous Goiters of the Met Ball.’”
–
Hilly considers a new option. (via pajamarama)
I’m available, ladies.
Hey, so you know that one episode of Boy Meets World where Eric starts dating a perky lady musician? He breaks up with her because her optimism gets on his nerves—only to find that she’s channeled her just-dumped rage into an angry song about him. Though the tune’s a hit, the singer’s soon out of material. So in a desperate attempt to get inspired, she meets with Eric again and...
It can't be a coincidence that after watching a... →
Once Upon a Time recap—get it while it’s filled with contempt!
Are you the now or never kind?
Alex: oh man just got the new EVE 6 ALBUM me: “new eve 6 album” is a phrase i never thought i’d hear in the 21st century Alex: right? it’s watermarked, because of all the people who’d want to share it
Gwyneth Paltrow's orange juice recipe
Cut 3 oranges in half and juice each half individually. Pour into cup.
And here I’ve been using bananas, like a goon!
“I learned empirically that the odor of the seals exacerbates the horrendous...”
– Shit Moms Say When They Go To Antarctica. (For real, my mom’s in Antarctica right now.)
“My excuse is that I don’t have time, but in reality, I just don’t care enough.”
– Wrote that in my journal on 10/3/02. Since then, very little has changed.
This was my day: Inferior →
Whooaa, that moment when vanity Googling reveals that nine months ago, some girl got really salty about you on her Tumblr.
thiswasmyday:
Oh god, whatever you do, DO NOT look at Hillary Busis’ Tumblr. She’s an intern for Entertainment Weekly, running its Tumblr, and her about page and LinkedIn make me want to throw up. How many internships can a person get?! Jesus H.
To make myself feel better...
dandaddario replied to your post: I just realized
Titanic 3D
Oh, excellent point—criminal omission on my part.
I just realized
That a) The Hunger Games comes out March 23
b) Mad Men returns March 25
and c) Game of Thrones Season 2 starts April 1.
You’re killing me, entertainment industry!
an internet acronym i'm trying to make happen
pajamarama:
TFL (tabbed for later), which you say when someone sends you a link to something and you don’t have time to look at it right then, but you’re opening it in another tab (or have already come across it and opened it in a tab) with the intent of checking it out when you can. There is an element of the social contract to TFL: it implies a promise to discuss the link in question once...
The best thing I ever had to transcribe as an...
A: Okay, you know what? I did miss the first part, I’m just going to ask you to do a real quick [unintelligible] of what the hell, what’s going on out there in terms of—
B: You mean in case we missed it before.
A: We did miss it, I’m positive we did.
B: Oh, okay.
A: Again, this will be brief, but that’s, like, what is—
B: What is going on…
A: What is going on… out there.
January 2012
24 posts
